Smith Frank Smith
by Miss Geoffery Chaucer
Summary: It's a Dragnet spoof! I love the show and couldn't resist writing this...I also have this posted at FictionPress.net. I need a Dragnet Category!!! NOW!! ^_^


Well, here's the first ever Dragnet fic! Unless they're somewhere else and I'm not seeing them. ^_~ I am an incredibly huge Ethan Embry fan (as anyone who has read The Play should know ^_~ ) and was so excited to see he was in that re-make show, Dragnet. So anyway, after I watched the show this type of scenario kept running through my head and I could sit on it no longer! I'm not sure where the actual plot is going, but I have a small subplot! If anyone is going to be angry that this is sort of a humorous parody of Dragnet, DON'T READ!! LoL…And I'm not saying I don't like the show in doing this! I just wanted to have a bit of fun with it!

Disclaimers: I own nothing! NOTHING! Except Camera Guy….he's all mine…muuahahhaha! LoL…I hope you enjoy this…Let me know what you think!

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"The streets of LA can be a dangerous place. Down every alley, on every street corner, in ever apartment lurks darkness….unless it's a sunny day or something, you know, in which case it's NOT dark, but I guess what I mean is the proverbial 'darkness' you know, where it's all sunny and stuff but danger is still there. *pause* Yes, the streets of LA can be very dangerous. Where doom lies hidden in a street vendor's every glance, where murder is not all she wrote, where no one is safe. LA. My home. I spend my days on the streets with the crackwhores and drug addicts and other lowlifes. I spend my nights with my gun at my side for protection, never completely at ease. It's all in a day's work. My name is Smith. *Dragnet music* *Dramatic look* Frank Smith."

"Smith! Get over here! Quit playing with the cameraman! We have a _SCENE_ to shoot!"

I rolled my eyes. "Gotta go! Gotta shoot a _scene_!" I rolled my eyes again and the camera guy and I both giggled. I abruptly stopped and stood up straight, assuming a serious facade. "You do know that I am a professional. I don't have time for these childish games, Camera Guy." He sobered up. Then, before walking away, I leaned in and, concern knitting my brow, asked, "You _did_ get that on film, right?!" Camera Guy giggled again and nodded.

"Cool! We'll finish this later." Shielding my eyes against the sun and trying to keep a straight face, I ran over to Friday.

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Apparently, I misjudged the distance to Friday and ran right into him. "Oh I'm sorry! Here let me fix that." I was trying to straighten his coat as I said this. He just brushed me away and glared.

"Smith, what have I told you about messing--" he was cut off as Camera Guy shoved a camera in his face. Pushing it away, Friday glared at me. "What is this all about Frank? Why is Camera Guy following us around? I don't even think he's part of the regular crew."

"He's not," I said in that cute manner that only I can pull of, my eyebrows slightly raised. "And he's not following _us_, he's following _me_. They're doing a documentary about me."

"What?" Friday exclaimed "A documentary about you? Why not ME?! I'M the star of this show! And who are THEY??" All this came out in a rush.

"Well, um, *giggle* I'm not real sure who _they_ are…"I trailed off. Friday and I were both standing with our hands on our hips. We looked up at the sky as if in search of the answer to the eternal question: Who are _they?_ A light breeze kicked up and our trench coats billowed dramatically. Off in the distance X-files music could be heard ever so softly.

I started giggling again. Friday looked around angrily.

"What is this? This isn't the X-Files set! Someone cut that music! Where is it coming from?!" The music got just a hint louder. Friday and I slowly turned around to see Camera Guy looking half ashamed and half amused as he immediately switched off the portable stereo. I had to turn away before Friday caught me laughing. Camera Guy handed me a Kleenex so I could wipe the tears from my eyes.

"Imbeciles," Friday muttered as he walked away.

"Gotta go!" I started to catch up with him then remembered something and jogged back to Camera Guy. Again I misjudged the distance and ran into him. Camera Guy just laughed. I leaned in and whispered, "Did you get that on film?!" Camera Guy nodded enthusiastically. "Sweet!"

"SMITH!"

I giggled as I ran over to Friday.

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So what did you think? Love it? Hate it?? Why? Give me feedback! Give me direction! Give me something! LoL!


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